Cowardice in the Chart: Mars in Aspect to Saturn or Chiron

**** TRIGGER WARNING: Normally, I wouldn’t write this. Hell, I’m usually too busy right now to update this blog on a regular basis. However, this particular post seems to have caused some serious chafing for some people, like SERIOUS chafing. Ironically, they all use fake email addresses. Anyway: I’m an astrologer, not a wet nurse. The biggest unkindness I could do is to write about a hard aspect and tell those who have it that it’s okay, to just spend their lives ignoring the nagging desire. We’re living in Brave New World, and those who will be forged and fortified by the crucible and the anvil need to get under the hammer sooner rather than later.  But I may have to take this down as work and school are giving me less time to monitor the trolls.

A lot of girls and young women seem to really take this personally, their comments res ipsa loquitur, but I just get rid of them. I’ve been told that as a practitioner, I don’t have a right (?) to post this observation because it might bother someone (?), or that not quoting another published practitioner who observed the same thing before I did (also, ?) somehow makes my observations illegitimate. There is a time and place for citing authority, but what authority would I cite when it’s my own idea and my own words and my own observations? I’m a third year law student and I edit an academic journal, and I tell you now that that’s not how it works. Some of things they say are grotesque; they conflate having stress and anxiety with cowardice, or say that trauma victims are cowards and therefore, I’m picking on trauma victims, or some other insanity.

Interestingly, everyone who loses their shit over this article just assumes I personally have no experience with this aspect, or don’t have it in my chart, or they simply haven’t bothered to read the rest of this blog and find out that I’m not living a life of a superhero, free of struggles. But I erase a lot of the emotional outbursts in the comments because I think as women, we can all do better than be stereotypes, especially since the outbursts conflate cowardice with mental illness and emotional sensitivity.***

peacock-936130_1920

But vanilla is still tasty, right?

And let me qualify the title by explaining that I do not believe in an uncontrollable destiny, or that people have fate and no free will. But, astrologically speaking, the world isn’t full of would-be rock stars whom everyone is too stupid to recognize. Not every person is born with an insatiable hunger, raw talent, and the luck or circumstances to become wildly successful. Not everyone is wild stallion meant to forge a new path. Not every person who has potential will fulfill it. The world is full of people who are average, no matter how their social media looks, no matter what they were told in grade school.  Not everyone is driven to greatness. Most will not go for the brass ring. Fewer still will keep going after they have reached up and failed to grasp it.Cosmically, this is fine. There is no need to have anxiety over how much we lack fame and fortune. Greatness and recognition are two different things, though we often confuse the two. In fact, the people who will have the most impact on the world, for better or for worse, are not celebrities. No one ever heard of the Koch brothers until 2008, even though they have been fueling American conservatives with money for decades. Most people didn’t know who Elon Musk was until Tesla Motors hit the news; he co-founded Paypal. Most people don’t know the name of one scientist who has helped to sequence the human genome. On the other hand, we have celebutantes who are famous for doing fuck-all.

But not everyone will sequence the human genome, or find the cure for cancer. Some of us will do a kind thing that really helps someone turn their life around, or is instrumental in saving the life of others. Perhaps it is part of someone’s purpose to be born and die so their organs can be donated and allow someone else to live. We are all on earth to do many things, and many of those things fulfill us, and the only two things that get in our way is ourselves and other people.

It can be difficult to tell from a natal chart whether or not a person is living up to their potential. Even if you look at a lifetime of progressions and transits, it can be hard to tell if a person seized the day. Planets on the Aries Points, planets conjunct the Midheaven and in the 10th house may mean someone more easily ends up in the public eye for whatever that planet represents, whether they like it or not. Fame is not actualization, and it is not living up to one’s soul potential. However, there are a few indicators or whether or not a person has both the motivation and the courage to realize as an individual as well as the perseverance to keep moving toward their individual fulfillment.

Mars is retrograde right now and will be until June 29th, and will go direct on July 1st. We are all probably feeling a little less courageous, a little less vital, a little less go-getting. However, the stuff of success – grit and courage – are with us naturally or something we develop because we have to. In simplest terms, Mars retrograde is a time where grit becomes the most important thing, because the mindset one has toward success and failure will be tested when we hit brick walls and don’t get what we want when we put forth the effort.

Grit doesn’t always manifest the way we think it will. Not everyone will keep running into a brick wall in the hopes that with every successive blow, the wall weakens and they will eventually go through it. Some go over the wall. Some go around it. Some build a ladder. Some use a cannon and blow a hole in it. Some chip away at it a little at a time. Some convince others to help them get over the wall. Some go a little out of their way and find a path with a wall they can get through and then go back on their original path. Some take what they have learned by trying to get over this wall and apply it to a different one. But in all of these cases, everyone who eventually defeats the wall accepts that there is a wall, that it must be dealt with, and that they cannot simply pass through it as if they were a hologram (except Pisces. Weirdly enough, they seem to do this sometimes, largely because they are unaware that there is a wall in front of them).

Grit comes from Mars and Saturn. It can be cultivated, and whether or not a person has it naturally or cultivates it depends on the strengths and weaknesses of the planets, but particularly if those planets are challenged. Those who have it easy aren’t motivated to rock the boat. Astrologers often note that those with T-squares in their charts are often successful, because they are born with the itch to correct what is wrong, since there is something missing in their lives and they are highly aware of it. If either Mars or Saturn is involved in a T-square, it is necessary that the native develop grit or they simply will not make it in the world.

Grit requires an ability to go at things alone, and the planet that rules solitude is Saturn. Sometimes you simply must do something yourself, and the things that are most important often require doing things yourself and forging a new path. Moving far away. Going to university. Starting a new career. While you may have the core people in your life that you want to be around as often as possible, like family, you must learn to go at things alone sometimes.  Saturn also rules maturity. Many coming-of-age rituals around the world include time spent in the wilderness, in solitude, to learn to rely on one’s self, one’s skills, and one’s courage.

However: a hard aspect, such as a square, opposition, or conjunction, between Mars and Saturn or Chiron not in a T-square, and usually as stand-alone aspects in any sign, or in Capricorn, or in the 12th house, is a sign of innate cowardice, or a desire to punish the self by not cultivating courage. This is by no means permanent; a person who meets their cosmic challenges and overcomes them becomes more powerful than even they could have imagined.

This is not the only aspect that shows cowardice, as a weakened sun and Neptunian aspects can show signs of retreat. With these aspects, the individual punishes themselves by not trying, by being an underachiever or by seeking out men or masculine types who will tell them what to do, or they may find people who become overly dependent on them so they feel that their energy (Mars) must be directed toward this responsibility (Saturn).

UPDATE: A square aspect is essentially an irritant, a motivator, an itch to scratch, a boulder to push up hill, or a mountain to climb. It’s an indication that everything isn’t okay just the way it is, and the only way to make things better is to learn to resolve them. They’re our motivation, our reasons to do what we do. Oppositions push us to change, or cause a lifelong struggle, but squares are generally the things we strive to resolve, largely because that’s the only way we can get through life.

With Mars, the person is much more likely to not avoid actively pursuing a passion or may not fully cultivate one. In the charts I have, these people tend to look for assurance outside of themselves, usually in men who represent Saturn or Mars, or in wherever those men came from. If they don’t have other reasons to want to go at life alone, or to make a dream a reality, many will fight the changing tides to avoid it.

With Chiron, the person tends to be born innately shy or insecure, and spends the rest of their lives either trying to get over it, or trying to cover it up. These people in particular are interesting, because if they fail to overcome it, they tend to portray themselves as strong and capable, and yet have no tangible evidence of it.

With the charts I have, the people with Mars in hard aspect to Chiron and have not overcome it live life in a sort of sheltered desperation: they tend to marry the first one they can snag if they marry, they rarely hold down jobs, much less careers, and often have a serious addiction to something and when they marry, they become overly dependent on a spouse, who is also an underachiever, in a way that is nearly child-like. But if you were to ask them, they are intelligent, competent, talented, and the like. But if they overcome this, they are the most humble achievers you will ever meet, superheroes who insist they are merely Clark Kents.

It is true that those who did not grow up with successful role models also tend to not know how to complete things or stay the course, and this can show up as a negative Saturn aspect. However, not every person with a Mars-Saturn or Mars-Chiron square will be a lifelong coward if they do not want to be. We are all cowards in one way or another, and when they realize that, they begin to unfurl their wings. And those who have been born with these aspects do have to overcome a lot, because they usually grow up in a world in which they are kept from reaching high for one reason or another; I have noticed that often, one parent lets the child know that they would feel abandoned or invalidated if the child outshines the parent. Later on, they bring people into their lives, like friends or significant others, who reflect this need to not be left in the dust.

However, even this kind of cowardice is not unrelated to grit. One of the most interesting things about underachievers is their dedication to not living up to their potential. This takes a certain amount of perseverance. To make sure that you never go anywhere in life, even when life presents you with not just opportunities, but imperatives to change, takes a lot of grit! A true underachiever never tries to do anything as well as they can, and every aspect of their lives: love, friends, career, spirituality, creativity, etc., is unimpressive and unfulfilling.

One of the most interesting things about grit is that we tend to recognize it in hindsight. Currently, there are millions of people all over the world exercising their grit, and millions more who simply think those people are just too stupid to know when to quit or when to conform. And Mars is a stupid planet in that way. But truly, the most courageous thing a person can do is simply take the first step. You don’t have to tell anyone. And often, you will have to go at it alone.

So, look at your own chart. Do you have a struggle like this? Is there something you want to do or be that you cannot try? What are you afraid of? What will happen if you fail? And of those things that will happen, how many of them will actually hurt you?

At some point in high school, when Saturn had decided to hide in my 12th house and Mars moved into my 5th, I realized that no matter what I did, I wasn’t suddenly going to become popular. I would never, ever fit in, so there was no point in trying. I decided to be me, and I dressed oddly and said whatever I felt, and I didn’t care. Sure, the teasing and bullying got worse, but then it started to subside. I just wasn’t going to change or give in or validate anyone else’s opinion of me. Sure, there were those who always had an issue with me, but I had friends. I was suddenly a person who had a place and I created it for myself. And I have had successes and failures, and I have made mistakes and I have had to change my plans. And some people just never liked me, and I have had more than my fair share of frenemies. In the end, they were all alike: they never did anything with their lives. Never tried. Never created. Never put themselves out there. Never had a dream and followed it. What value does the opinion of a person like that have? Everything I do and try brings me closer to fulfillment.

Everything you do and try — even if you fail — brings you closer as well. And no one actually knows why you are on earth except for you. And perhaps a good astrologer. But even you may not know why, but even those whom you think are closest to you don’t know what you are meant for. Most of us cannot conceive of possibilities so expansive for ourselves, let alone for others. Saturn is also the ruler of fear imposed on us by others (the moon is our primal fear). When we are children, we have to live by the fears of our parents and our communities, but once we grow up, the fears of our parents and our communities are memories that we choose to revive and pretend are real.  Saturn is also the planet ruling regret.

And Saturn is also the planet of denial. If you can learn to live with him, you can learn a lot about what you don’t need and can still get by, and I don’t mean just things like a shiny car and cable television and cosmopolitans with the girls on Ladies Night. I mean living without approval, without support, without fearing the opinions of others. And Saturn can teach Mars how to shake off the shackles of fear and blast off. Will you let him?

White Peacock photo courtesy of Katia_M.

 

 

37 thoughts on “Cowardice in the Chart: Mars in Aspect to Saturn or Chiron

  1. I love this article! I love it for many reasons, but right now I am just bursting to ask… why is a Saturn/Mars combo more likely to exhibit (positive) grit when in the 12th house?? I’d think that combo (the conjunction in particular) would scapegoat others.

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  2. Mind blown, heart opened!
    My configuration: 29 sag rising with a 12 house 25 sag mars//saturn & uranus conjunct 0 capricorn (intercepted first house capricorn stellium that includes saturn, uranus, neptune and a late degree moon.)
    all of this oppose my 23 gem chiron rx. which also squares my nodal axis in pisces/virgo. woo!

    I oscillate between getting over being shy and being a rock star….at underachieving/using my shyness as a crutch and a terrible escape hatch into victimhood (the latter being so bloody insidious I sometimes look at myself as a cosmic nightclub bouncer who constantly has to kick victimhood out after it sneaks back in!). Sometimes it’s in the form of not trying or procrastinating (source knows i’ve got the ideas and imagination with sag mars in the 12th! – trining a 4th house jupiter in aries). Other times it’s self-sabotaging at the point of fruition. throw in the nodal axis square and it feels like a karmic pinball game.

    This post really resonated and helped ground my experience and – while yes at first there were some tender feelings about being reminded of this personal proclivity to veer off or underachieve – helped remind me of the grit I know I have and that I couldn’t stop trying..even if I tried. (I have and har har it just landed me on a better path)

    I grew up with one parent who most certainly could not handle that my intelligence surpassed theirs. They’ve admitted they were in a way frightened of me but couldn’t admit it, thus covertly and chronically shamed/neglected me. I’m grateful I’ve been able to converse with them about this and find healing. I did get the message that I could not excel past them and where they were was painfully low on my personal radar for self-expression, mental capabilities, and talent. They wouldn’t even let other people touch me when I was little when they’d receive compliments about me.

    Thank you for this. After many years of rambles and wanderings I’m starting to constellate myself around the gifts that can be found in this configuration. generally, service to others and through that being able to provide myself with the life that allows me to open up creatively for self fulfillment (and not rock star status;))

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    • Hi,
      So I’m not sure what all of this means, but it resonates because you literally described my life experience:

      “… people with Mars in hard aspect to Chiron and have not overcome it live life in a sort of sheltered desperation: they tend to marry the first one they can snag if they marry, they rarely hold down jobs, much less careers, and often have a serious addiction to something and when they marry, they become overly dependent on a spouse, who is also an underachiever, in a way that is nearly child-like.”

      My mars/chiron aspect is in opposition AND T-squared with my sun sign Virgo:

      1st : T-Square
      Uranus in 9° Sagittarius
      Sun in 9° Virgo
      Chiron in 8° Gemini
      Mars in 8° Sagittarius
      Moon in 7° Sagittarius

      2nd: T-Square
      Chiron in 8° Gemini
      Mercury in 1° Virgo
      Mars in 8° Sagittarius
      Moon in 7° Sagittarius

      Also:

      Sun Square Chiron
      orb: 1 °

      Sun Square Mars
      orb: 1 °

      Mars Opposition Chiron
      orb: 0 °

      – – – – – –
      I’m going to re-read this article, maybe a few times until I can fully understand. I have struggled with ‘jobs’ and got bored easily or would just find it difficult. This happened later in life as well, when I had moved into my career (nursing). However, since moving into a more flexible, traveling, community setting, I am steadier (along with age), doing well and enjoy this area of my career; the same restrictive walls of the hospital and same stupid faces (jk) were highly unfavorable for me. HOWEVER, I do have some serious reliance on my spouse (isn’t this marriage though), but could ‘make it’ independently if needed and also contribute towards our lives. I think our marriage began hastily, when we were young, unfocused and we started out very tumultuously; he’s also a Gemini rising, and we [he] had some issues with ‘trust and monogamy’ early on in our marriage, but since then we’ve grown together, he’s calmed down (lol) and I would like to believe we’re good for and to each other. I think I have serious issues with money (saving, planning, or heaven forbid budgeting), which I bet if left unchecked will be a strain for us, he’s opposite.

      – – – – – –

      SO… what does your analysis mean for me? I don’t want to be a coward, hold myself back, limit myself and not realize my full potential. I think I was always avoiding challenges when I was young, I distracted myself a lot, chose ‘the easy way’ or got by in life doing ‘the bare minimum’; ex. would quit opportunities if they seemed to ‘difficult or challenging’, procrastinate every project, would make excuses for why something wasn’t a good fit – this lead to switching high schools more than 5x, failing to graduate and just deciding to get my GED – all the while I was labeled ‘gifted/bright’ and this wasn’t reasonable considering my aptitude. I would pull myself out of honors classes “because my friends aren’t in there…” and dumb stuff like this. I’d like to think that all of this is behind me, but maybe not.

      Any advice or insight? I’m currently back in school, working FT and ‘want’ to go further and earn my master’s degree, start my own small business, etc. But this article def. hit home and I’d be interested to know how you’d apply this to me or whether there’s more nuggets in this article I could use to help me overcome these natal aspects. =)

      Thanks for the article and thoughts!

      ~ Rachelle

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  3. This is wild. I have Mars in strong conjunction with Chiron in Virgo, 1st house. In opposition to Saturn. Forming a T-square with mercury.
    So essentially a T-square made up with Chiron-Mars, Saturn, and Mercury.

    I’m curious as to what your impression on this could be?

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  4. I’m just beginning to delve into astrology after coming to the end of my rope with my “life’s purpose” frustration and wanting to find some answers as to why I can’t figure it out and why I’ve had so many false starts. I have my sun in 8th house Aries and am just starting to learn how so many aspects in my chart have effected me and had an influence on that up to this point. Chiron sesquiquadrate Mars included. I’m fascinated and excited by how this knowledge can help me navigate my life and feel fulfilled with the choices I make and things I do. I’m so happy to have stumbled upon this. I don’t want or need things sugar-coated. I want real information that will help me to understand myself. This is gold. Thank you.

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  5. Thank you for writing this. I have Saturn in conjunct with Moon in the 1st House, in Pisces, as well as Chiron (in Pisces), opposite to Mars. I can relate to many things you wrote about the inner fights and actually helps to read that noone knows about what is inside. I often have the feeling that others should know about it as I am feeling it so strongly, but probably it is just my own feeling and according to what I get back from others, they do not think I am having huge fights within, and often treat me sternly. I have trouble dealing with this as I also know that I am putting myself in these situations. So knowing about the energies of the planets helps me looking at what is happening within.

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  6. I don’t think I’ve ever looked up my Mars opposition with Chiron, maybe because I’ve been too afraid! haha. Please don’t take this down! I needed to hear this. You described so much of how I was and how I’m trying to change. And yes, right now I am quite alone. I have a couple of people around, but it’s not like even having a best friend or anything. Any closer to being alone and I’d be out in the hills somewhere with really, no one. And it seems so deliberate the way people just won’t stick in my life. And this is exactly what I’ve been hearing in my heart. I have to figure it out myself. The other day a man helped me understand Saturn in Leo, that I need to take risks, and this blog post confirms that again. I have a T square. I have 7 websites started but not running. I have no idea how I can even do 7, nor can I figure out how to start with just one. But I am taking the steps. So sorry you got so much shit for this post. Ironic though, isn’t it? Because isn’t it cowardice to deny the hard truths just like you said?

    Also. I am Plutonian. Walls, walls everywhere! But also, for whatever reason, no matter how much I want to, I can’t give up. Here’s to hoping something works out and I finally have something to put beside my name. Thank you so much again for keeping it real.

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  7. Fully agree with these comments I have Mars RT conjunct Saturn RT oppose Chiron , I can say that I have been very fearful in my past and compensated for this by creating a Uber masculine toxic identity . Facing these fears led to the breakdown of the identity and I now live in peace thank you for this confirmation x

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  8. I must say..I Fucking adore you already! You taking a stand, a thoughtful one at that already makes my journey to your site well worth it. I personally can’t stand the nay sayers that typically don’t have much to offer as far as insight themselves. I’m still very new at Astrology, still needing to go back and recheck , like , “fuck now I forgot such and such placement” lol. But Chiron was one that moved me very deeply. The wounded warrior, I feel that and houses 8 to 12 are the most fascinating , giving so much insight on path to healing. Mine is trine with Mars. I still have no idea what trine means just yet but Im sure I’ll figure it out once I can get my shit together with all of this. In the meantime you keep being your bad ass self 💜

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  9. I have chiron square both mars and sun. It also opposes my saturn/neptune conjunction. Chiron is in my eleventh house and saturn/neptune in my fifth. I struggle to maintain friendships and am to shy to find a romantic interest, though am still kind of putting in the effort. The article hit home, especially on going about things alone and attracting inappropriate partners, in my case weak and disrespectful. Very well written and I will definitely revisit this article often.

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  10. I plan to read this article thoughly, as well as the comments. So far, I’ve read up to the part about T-Squares. I used small orbs, so I don’t always acknowledge this about my natal chart, but I have a T-Square, and I can’t help but laugh about it at this moment.

    Mars – 1 Pisces Conjunct Saturn – 4 Pisces

    Opposite
    Chiron – 5 Virgo

    Square
    Pluto – 28 Scorpio Conjunct North Node – 26 Scorpio

    Lay it on me. Lord knows I need to hear it. Chiron made conjunctions with every planet in my chart throughout my life, and made his last stop this year to my Aries Point Venus just as I turned 25 this month. Consider me shook… Anything to help me process this new energy is appreciated. With a strong Pisces chart, and Neptune currently drowning my Sun at 18 Pisces, I don’t want to fall prey to my own escapist tendencies and impulses.

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  11. Wow. This is accurate af. I just went through a Chiron sun transit and it felt like everything crashed around me. Might I add my sun is conjunct my Saturn in Pisces (11th house) and opposite my Chiron in virgo (5th house). My life got completely demolished, I’m doing okay now but man…I understand why it all had to happen now.

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  12. Wow…I have a Pisces Mars in the 12th, squaring my 2nd house Chiron. I also have a Scorpion Saturn in the 8th, this time in conjunction with Chiron. And of course, my Mars and Saturn square each other too. You’ve given me lots to think about. Thanks for the great post, and if you have an words to add on my aspects,I’d be grateful.

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  13. Thanks fugitiveumbrellas. I have Chiron Retrograde wrapped up with Mars, Venus, Saturn, Uranus, and the MC. First relationship is Thor’s Hammer. Aquarian Chiron in the 10th House sesquisquaring Cancerian Mars in the 2nd House at a mere 6 minute orb. Mars then sesquisquares with Scorpion Venus in the 6th House at a tight 15 minute orb. Thor’s Hammer is completed by a 21 minute Venus-Chiron partile square. Thor’s Hammer is then extended to manifest a Black Kite. Thus, to continue, Capricornian Saturn in the 8th House semisquares Chiron and Venus in its middle position at an ~11 minute orb in both aspectral cases. Saturn, then, in completing the Black Kite geometric configuration, opposes Mars in an approaching aspect only 6 minutes apart (partile). If this is not enough, Leonine Uranus in the 4th House is in opposition to Chiron and the MC (former by 2 degrees 34′ and latter by 1 degree 36′). Derivatively, from information provided, Chiron conjuncts my Aquarian MC at 4 degree 11′ orb.. The Uranus-Chiron-MC relationship connects to a T-square with my Scorpion Venus and Mercury (Venus square Uranus at 2 degree 55′ orb; Venus Square MC at 4 degrees 32′; Mercury square Uranus at 4 degrees 9′; Mercury square MC at 2 degrees 33′ (it can also just for kicks be mentioned the planet closest to the Sun squares Chiron as well by a comparatively distant 6-7 degree orb); and, as mentioned before Venus square Chiron. A transit will pick up all these interconnecting relationships that includes another T-square, with Moon as the focal point, as point of tension for the Mars-Saturn opposition. Two cradles also interconnect: a feminine one that throws Neptune and Pluto into the spiritual conflagration, relating to the Mars-Saturn opposition; and a masculine one that casts the Sun and Jupiter as participants in the Uranus-Chiron/MC opposition.

    I am now deep into my second Saturn return. As of this writing, transiting Saturn (12 degrees 3′) is only 42′ away from degree point of my Natal Saturn (12 degrees 45′).. How am I? Well, I suppose better than if I lack awareness. Life is short. I feel life put me on this Earth to realize a mission. Although keenly aware, it has yet to be fulfilled (the story of my underachievement, I think bespeaks of the inner civil war – actually outright unfolding inner holocaust! – I live each and every day: I mean no melodrama here but express simple truth!) I will follow my dream regardless of gravest envisioned consequences. Otherwise, life just isn’t worth living. It really just is that simple. I can relate profoundly to your blog. Thanks for taking the time to reach deeply into your soul and sharing.

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  14. So, Mars conjunct Chiron is an aspect in the natal chart of recent family annihilator Chris Watt’s. I thought of him as a coward and a lot of people on Reddit are calling him this. Interesting. Thank you for the post.

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  15. Some well known people with Mars conjunct/square/opposition Chiron:
    Mike Tyson, Michael Jackson, Steve Jobs, Bruce Lee, Hillary Clinton, Marlon Brando, Jim Morrison, Shakira, Conor McGregor, James Franco, Beethoven, Bruno Mars, LeBron James, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Pitbull, Eminem, Winston Churchill, Elizabeth Hurley, Pavarotti, Freddie Mercury, Cindy Crawford, Harrison Ford, Walt Disney, Gal Gadot, Iker Casillas

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  16. Hmm yeah this is a bummer, but is good to know. I have a trine with Mars, Chiron, and my midheaven and have definitely shown a history of glomming onto strong masculine figures that are basically a-holes and or doing well at something so long as someone was holding my hand. Its been two years now since I graduated college and am realllly really (at least I think I am) working to understand myself and my purpose so I don’t reproduce these cycles which I have seen play out over and over again in my family and therefore distract from growth. Thanks for the article.

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  17. Pingback: Loneliness, Isolation, and Emotional Walls: Saturn in Aspect to the Moon or Ascendant

  18. I just discovered I have Mars (22 degrees, and at the top of my natal chart, in the 9th house) square Chiron (20 degrees, in the 12th house). Not that I fully understand what that means. I always thought that planets in master numbers (11 & 22 degrees) were significant, and that Mars being involved in a Grand Trine with my Moon in the 1st House, and Mercury in the 5th, and (weakly) Sun in the 4th, was also significant. I might also add that Saturn is 12 degrees of the same sign as Mars- (they’re separated by 10 degrees, so even though they’re in the same sign, they’re not really Conjunct). However, I just realized that my Sun is 16 degrees, and Trines Saturn- which is kind of interesting in that both my Moon and Ascendant are in Capricorn. This only augments the Saturnian influence in my natal chart.

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  19. Sorry, one more comment about the chiron conjunction in synastry or natally…whatever planet is aspecting the chiron will initially be negatively effected and then healed so the planet will reach full potential. For example I knew a fellow with chiron conjunct mercury…he used to be very shy and repressed, he was told off many times in childhood when he spoke his mind and found it difficult to speak up for himself…now he is a very talkative person, amazing story teller, effective at using language to express himself, an amazing singer, etc. I posted about this but the guy with chiron conjunct mars used to be insecure and have issues involving mars more growing up and in early adulthood, he has healed that and is very assertive, confident, protective, goes after what he wants, successful in his undertakings because he is confident and direct…and a clearly bright and shining mars. The same effect will be had in synastry; it will hurt then heal the affected planet to where the planet shines more brilliantly than before. I think all it takes is a bit of courage of chiron towards making that first step towards healing the affected planet but I have seen it work miracles. The planet in conjunction with chiron steps into it’s exaltation in the end.

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  20. I know someone with mars conjunct chiron and they come off hypermasculine if anything; assertive, aggressive, sexual, very sucessful financially and career wise and in most of their endevours, not at all a coward; the go for what they want for the most part…but the hypermasculinity makes me wonder if there is an insecurity with their masculinity…hmm I think the conjunct does not point to cowardice though..not atleast from what I’ve seen…

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  21. I was wondering if you have seen the same thing with Saturn in hard aspect (including inconjunct) to Chiron? My husband has that aspect perfected (involving Neptune in a yod) and I certainly see the themes of cowardice play out in his life, especially in relation to doing art which is something he would like to undertake and be good at. It might have something to do with his Moon being right conjunct that Saturn as well which lends a certain anxiety.

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  22. I have what an astrologer described as my ‘nemesis’, –a large man, who bullied me passively aggressively and derided me to his male colleagues, who ‘sided’ with him against the crazy/dyke/witch/gardener. He is a Sagittarius Sun, Venus, Mercury and Saturn (12th house) with a grand square between Chiron in Aquarius, Mars Rx in Taurus, Uranus in Leo, and Jupiter in Scorpio. The Jupiter/Chiron/Mars degree aspects are exact at 18º; Uranus a 2º orb. He has a 10th house Libran Moon and a Libran North node.

    He targetted me through gossip and slander. We were initially introduced as potential partners through a third person outside work. (she has now apologised!) He never once directly spoke to me after initially showing an interest in me, but soon reverted to rudeness and goading me at work and standing me up several times. He refused to cooperate with me professionally but stalked me around the building and was clearly deriding me to his younger male mates. I was forced to resign when management took his side after I asked for mediation between us. This whole grim process that I wonder he hadn’t planned took an excruciating 2.5 years to come to a head when I finally gave him the dressing down of his life in front of one of his little male offsiders.

    He spent most of his life at sea as a bosun. He is a big man and he is admired by the young men in the workplace, he has issues with women and is addicted to alcohol. He is separated from his wife, but still lives in a granny flat at the back of his house. He refuses to divorce her and she is financially dependent on him. There marriage headed south when his 30 year career in the merchant navy ended and he was more permanently at home, and unemployed. He now works at my ‘former’ workplace 50+ hours a week.
    I wonder if Mars retrograde (in Taurus) makes the square to Chiron (and the opposition to his ruler Jupiter in Scorpio (11th house) more or less intense. For a big boofy bosun who has worked more or less for most of his life as a professional bully at sea he proved himself to be an unbelievable coward and incredibly passive aggressive. His Sun is 13º Sag, close to the Great Attractor. He is loved and protected has a very good sense of humour. Swings and ’roundabouts huh, but for me it completely sucked as I was scapegoated for his marriage gone wrong. #dang

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    • I really haven’t gotten much time to update my blog, but Chiron is something I wanted to get back to writing about . One thing about Chiron is that it forces you to confront what is missing or broken. And what this is asking you to do is to “lean into the sharp points” as Pema Chodron has said. I don’t think anyone overcomes Chiron. Every time I think that I overcome mine, something else reminds me that this is an insecurity I’m going to have for life. I’ll be able to cope, and I might even find a way to use the energy constructively, but this is always with me, so I’m not going to fight it. It has some sort of importance.
      So I suggest then If Mars is your suppressed energy, if fear and a lack of self-determination squelch your Martian expression, then no one really knows anything about it. It’s your secret. In fact, it’s a secret you don’t know about yet. So, no one can actually tell you what it is, how big it is, what it can do, and what it’s worth. No one in the world actually knows what you can do. And sure, maybe someone’s scared of it. One thing that does sometimes happen when Mars is afflicted like this is that the plucky behavior they demonstrated as small child was shut down or punished by adults who misinterpreted it as aggression, didn’t have the patience for it, or found it threatening to their supremacy. They locked Mars up in a cage. So it’s not you need to overcome it, but that you need to liberate Mars and teach it how to live in a world it doesn‘t know.
      And while the flip side of love is hate, the flip side of fear is anger. And sometimes, that’s enough of a motivator. Do you know — really know — that anger in and of itself is perfectly okay, and that no matter who or what it is, it’s okay to be angry with the person who hurt you directly? Not to rationalize it, or let it fester into paranoia or prejudice, but to just allow yourself to feel it and know that you’re worth it. That’s what I think is the first step to overcoming it. Let yourself feel Martian feelings first.

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  23. Well, this was an eye opener. I’ve cried my heart out while I was reading this post. My whole life I wonder what’s obstructing my drive. And just now I realised: it was a Mars conj Chiron; an aspect which I wasn’t aware of at all. Thank you SO much, Fugitive Umbrellas

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      • One thing works for me: I do the war dance / war chant before confronting any major obstacle. Don’t bursts from laughing yet. Youtube “rugby haka” then you can tell me how does your Mars-conjunct-Chiron-aspect feels 😉

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      • Laugh? War chants are common, though not nearly as fun as a haka. That’s why we have cheerleaders at sporting events. Berserkers worked themselves up into a trance-like fury before destroying everything in their path. I think working yourself up is a great idea, and fun. Better than working yourself up into a ball of anxiety.

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  24. Wow. I have Libran Saturn in the 12th, squaring Aquarian Mars in the 3rd, which squares Taurian Chiron on my descendant. I can relate to underachieving, a sense of not being “ready” for the next big thing, regretting what I don’t attempt, and frustration. I can also relate to trying things too soon, taking on more than my limits allow, standing up to bullies (sometimes successfully, sometimes not), and facing my fears (heights, swimming deep waters, asking out an attractive man, etc). The big one for me right now is finishing my bachelors, which I avoided trying at 18, but returned to 8 years ago and have slowly worked my way through stops, starts, and codependent relationship turmoil. I find that peaceful assertiveness is a must, as are outlets for excess energy and a plan of action. I also love working with my hands, and when I can get over the approach anxiety, I’m capable of some good art.

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    • Hi Esther! I think that you are also seeing the Saturn Silver Lining here: you actually ARE going back to finish your bachelor’s degree, which is tough to do in your mid-twenties. So, in a sense, this is a real, conscious effort on your part. After all, most kids just coast to college if they can go, but to really choose it and want it? That’s different. One thing that I didn’t elaborate on in this post is that Saturn fortifies what has proven itself strong. And it may be your destiny in some way to always have to tear down walls and obstacles, if only at times to show others that it can be done.

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