March 23 – 29 2020 Weekly Horoscopes

This week, the Sun in Aries conjuncts Chiron and Lilith, making it so much harder to feel independent, to take action, to feel the excitement of spring. However, the Moon in Pisces conjunct Neptune lulls us into a quarantine/social-distancing mood on Monday. By the end of the week, the Moon in Taurus conjunct Venus just wants to chill with something nice, whether it’s a good movie, some sex, or just a pint of ice cream. The Mars/Saturn and Jupiter/Pluto stellium in Capricorn is a streaming banner across the sky, showing us the size, power, and mechanism through which our infrastructures and institutions operate, and we have to decide if they will grow with us or without us, and if without us, who will lead the revolution back?

And poor Aries is missing all their birthdays. 😦

While we may very well fall asleep together, in truth, we all sleep alone. Art by Bessi.

I thought that perhaps for the first time in what, five years? I ought to try posting horoscopes. I write horoscopes for other people and have written them for other websites before, so why not my own? Let’s see if I can keep this up:

Aries: Boy, is this turning out to be a crummy Aries season, and doesn’t everyone know it, because there’s nothing worse than a world full of Aries having tantrums because they can’t party on their birthdays. Believe it or not, this isn’t all about you. Get someone to hug you, because you need one and you want one, even if you’re too tough to say anything. You’ve actually been secretly dying for an excuse to get away from your peers and focus your competitive spirit on long-term growth and maturity, so spend this week doing the adulting you’ve been avoiding lately. For those of you Aries on the fence: jump over, because if you’re still thinking of entrepreneurship, jump in now.

Taurus: Now that everyone is doing what you’re usually doing, it seems cosmically unfair that you’re not able to find peace just chillin’ at home as you are. Beating yourself up creates a weird duality: you want to dig your heels in further and stay put while flailing yourself for doing just that. You dream of a beautiful, serene world, so spend some time beautifying your world. Treat yourself to spa-at-home and some extra sleep, as a reward for the world finally seeing things your way: less is more, more is better, better is best and the best is effortless and timeless. Oh: and giving yourself a little (well-earned) retail therapy this weekend is GREAT for the economy, so treat yourself. 

Gemini: You’re at a cosmic crossroads: take a break from your goals and just focus on today, or go full force no matter the sacrifices required. Your confusion over your job or career may be at its worst, so make no job decisions this week, even if you’re absolutely sure your boss/co-worker/deity is out to get you. Trust me: in reality, they don’t care that much. Likewise, don’t cash out your 401k: make long-term financial decisions, because you’ll find the means to meet your goals if you focus on the result you want, not the number of dollars you think will buy that result. Immerse yourself in imagination this weekend, as you’ll want a couple days inside to recharge your batteries. 

Cancer: Your social status isn’t what you want – or is it? If you’re not happy with your job or social circle, you’re not a jerk for looking right now (but wait to send out your resume a few weeks). But keep it quiet: even those you would expect to support you may either be surprisingly competitive or discouraging, especially if they feel that you owe them something. A vacation would do you good, but that’s not on the menu this season, but studying a new magickal or spiritual practice will take you away all the same. By the end of the week, you’ll be ready to give life in the big scary world of responsibility and accountability (a.k.a. “reality”) another try. 

Leo: Aries season may offer you a much-needed reprieve from any crises of ideology or religion you may be facing right now, or it may amplify it. In either case, use those feelings and the curiosity they rouse to fuel your work: work you do on yourself, work on your lifestyle, so that you can become the version of you that you want to be. If you’re sad about the state of the world, make your body strong to be able to help others. Imagine yourself transforming often enough and it becomes real to you this week, such that by the end, your vision of yourself becomes a part of who you are and who you project yourself to be. 

Virgo: Cooperation isn’t coming easy this week, especially if you’re the only person trying to keep a level head. Give others a chance; one of them may actually be right for a change. On the other hand, you could be a hero for those who are falling apart this week, but don’t do more than your fair share of the work. However, you shine where solution are required. You may be inspired to share you knowledge with others; do it! You’d be surprised how what comes natural to you is genius to others. [Not saying you’re not a genius already. Don’t want to start that life-long cold war with you.] Relaxing (alone) in nature is one thing you cando outside this weekend.

Libra: It’s time to let dying relationships fizzle out and for new ones to take their place. You can always keep up quite an intriguing correspondence with someone attractive, and to you, attractive is keeping it together with class and not hoarding all the hand sanitizer. Write your ideas down. They may be raw and disjointed now, even scandalous, but there’s time to edit later. If you work in the arts or a healing profession, you may be especially productive, giving it all to the work. If not, you may be confused as hell and wondering if everyone else at work can tell. Actually, they don’t care. Hide your credit card this weekend: those sales will prove too tempting for window shopping only. 

Scorpio: Work is going to be especially tough this weekend unless you work for yourself, by yourself. Micromanaging and constant contact drives you nuts. Work out the frustration on the weights or treadmill, not the perpetrators, unless you like the idea of unemployment. Creative Scorpios are going to be at peak performance this week, even if it’s just practice or the rough sketches of something fabulous. It’s okay to need your space so long as you shower your S.O. or friends with affection at some point over the weekend. In the mean time, you may discover that you know more about something than you (and others) previously thought. It’s up to you to decide who you let in on this secret.  

Sagittarius: I hope you’re working from home now, because if your job isn’t a reflection of who you are, it’s going to be a rough week. Jokes will go too far or become too relentless. Don’t assume people value your friendship over their own identities, and that saying. You may discover something about your origins or come to the conclusion that you’re sure you want to move far away and start over anonymously with only your charm and your talents to get by. Check the bank – you may either seriously overestimate or underestimate your ability to make what you need for the short term, so don’t put all your chips on the possibilities of brighter future rather than a stable existence right now.   

Capricorn: This is your week to shine, and shine you must, because people are counting on you. They’re looking at you to both be the voice of reason and the administrator of needed changes. If there’s a naysayer who is bringing you down, deal with them immediately. You may not have the words, but you have the body language and tone of voice. It’s okay to be a lone wolf now, and you’re good at it. You don’t have to chose between your self interest and those around you if think like a leader and act like one. Work hard, play soft: this weekend, treat yourself to some self-expression, like an art or craft, that can help make the world a prettier place in some way. 

Aquarius: It’s going to be hard not to say exactly what you’re thinking with everyone else preoccupied, but rest assure: it can come back and haunt you. Cash on hand may be tight; if so, your pride need not get in the way, because people will understand, but be careful about borrowing money from family who want quid pro quo. On the plus side, you may find a creative purpose for many of the things you already have. Don’t let fear about your stability, the economy, or business shake your resolve or drive you to work until you compromise your own health. After all, you can’t save the world if you can’t get out of bed. Go to bed early as if it were trending.

Pisces: Out of all the signs, you’re the one who really has a shot of making it out sane (sane-ish) this week. Sacrifice and compassion are your forte, and you love to be quarantined anyway, so this is kind of your groove in a macabre, queasy way. Careful at the beginning of the week, especially if you’re working remotely, because you may be more forgetful than usual. If you work in the world, stay especially vigilant with whom you encounter. Wait toward the end of the week to apologize for any prior aloofness. If you’re worried about your career and goals now, find a way to use the standstill productively or creatively. The din may help you hear your inner voice more clearly.  

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