The Sabian Symbol for 29 degrees Aquarius is of a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis. It’s a crisis point in the chart, a do-or-die degree, and in Aquarius, the crisis is of progress and invention before embarking on infinity and that which is sealed, fated, and belonging to the universe. Right now, Jupiter is there (or very, very close) expanding and magnifying the need to emerge from the changes (Aquarius) and reinvention (Aquarius) of the caterpillar that constructs an insect of itself from it’s own goo from within the invention chamber (the chrysalis) emerging to join the universe (Pisces) and live freely according to their fate (Pisces). And yes, butterflies appear ethereal and gentle, just like Pisces, right? Many of them use camouflage, just like Pisces, right? We perceive them that way because they don’t appear able to hurt us, but when they’re fluttering around you, it’s not the universe sending you a gentle message so much as it’s the butterfly trying to send you the message of GTFO, this is MY milkweed motherfucker. But that’s kind of Piscean too, because even when Pisces is trying to be scary, it needs some camouflage or other tricky to pull it off.

The 29th degree of Aquarius actually a lot like Morpheus asking you if you want to take the red pill or the blue pill, both of you knowing all along that the choice is an illusion. After all, the caterpillar can’t choose to remain a caterpillar once it’s time to change. It can’t simply eat leaves forever, growing forever – it has to adapt or die, turning from something destructive to plants to something constructive in their reproductive cycle, because whereas caterpillar destroy plants by eating their leaves, the butterfly pollinates flowers.

It’s still quite ironic that red pill – a concept created by two transgender women before they transitioned – has been hijacked by those who want to not only be plugged back into The Matrix of toxic masculinity, but are willing to kill others to do so. It’s still ironic that people believe in a child-trafficking conspiracy theory conceived on 4chan, a place on the Internet that was rife with child porn, that doesn’t have any of the known characteristics of actual child trafficking, and that Qtards never seem to demonstrate any outrage or even passing concern when there is an arrest or a news article about actual child trafficking. But that’s Aquarian too, bad Aquarian: outrage over an invented unseen power (air) vs. a real life, less salacious and less globally impactful (earth) event with a real victim with a face and a name.

But that is part of the thing with Aquarius, right? Irony. Trying to overthrow one institution in order to replace it with another. You either see yourself a inseparable from the whole or you try create a brand new whole in which you are inseparable. While there is humanitarianism in Aquarius, it’s not necessarily empathy – it’s in Pisces where you find out that illusion after illusion, dream after dream, it’s all part of the same universe – you are one with it all. You can’t actually escape, so you surrender, and with that surrender, you either become a victim or a god.

So I’m not going to spoil The Matrix Resurrections for you, but this is my kind of sequel: lighter on the bullet time, more focus on the relationships, the philosophy, and so, so meta, because we all know that this sequel was likely coerced. It refuses to be a reboot, and it refuses to be a sequel, actually. Does that make sense without spoiling it? But if you’ve been following this at all, you know that both Keanu Reeves and Carrie-Ann Moss are back, so there will be focus on their karmic relationship. The short of it is that Neo has to once again choose a reality, and that Neo also needs to figure out who Neo is, but also who is he in terms of his relationships with people, and is the dream state so powerful that it can sever our karmic ties and the power of love? And if it wasn’t clear that the Wachowskis weren’t telling men to escape the ratrace and enter an alternative reality of patriarchal toxic masculinity, it’s pretty clear now that Neo is not a MGTOW and never was, and maybe he wasn’t always The One in the sense we’ve come to think of him as.

So now that I have HBO Max for a month and time off for Christmas, I have to go back and rewatch all the movies. And I know — I didn’t think I would have HBO Max either, but it’s cheaper than going to the movies and less risky right now.

But we also get to learn a little more about the pods from the power plant, and when I saw this, I couldn’t help but think chrysalis, of millions upon millions of caterpillars that become goo, indistinguishable, with all the potential to become a butterfly if they can break free. On the hand, you break someone free from the pod and they don’t know what the hell is going on, they could die. It’s a huge thing to wake up permanently in another reality. Sure: you still have the equipment to tap back into that reality again, but once you know it’s not real, that sticks with you, and from what we learn from the movie, once you learn this karmic lesson, you can never un-learn it: you can only forget it for a while.

And yet, what does The One do? He does what the bodhisattva does: he comes back to The Matrix over and over again, not trying to wake people up to the other reality, the “real” world beyond the world the machines created to keep humans occupied, but to the potential of the reality they have. He’s not trying to destroy pods and force people to accept a reality they likely can’t accept, but rather to accept the illusion of The Matrix.

And sure, the idea that people can fly, that they can dodge and stop bullets, that they can defy gravity and demonstrate superhuman strength is foolishness, right? But then again, there’s a lot of things once considered to be inviolable that really aren’t, like gender, like sexuality, like class, like race, like the dictates of a god who is not here. And astrology and all of my occult interests are also pretty damn foolish, too, tomfoolery, nonsense, silliness. Of course it. I am fully absorbed in my nonsense, and I’m happy with it, and on the solstice, I had a breakthrough where I realized that my soulmate must also be someone who is also highly curious and indulges in nonsense and doesn’t rule anything out. There’s a difference between delusion and hope, delusion and wonder. There are more people in the world who have been told that their truths are nonsense, even truths so integral to who they are, like their gender, like who they are despite their gender, like who they are because of their gender,

But it seems like despite all the striving, the acceptance, and the breaking of taboos that have to happen through the journey through Aquarius, at 29 degrees, that which is now permanently changed, that is now unable to go back in time, must emerge from Aquarius and enter the world, and it’s not easy. After all, a butterfly is wet and vulnerable when it first enters the world. It can’t fly yet. It can barely walk. Frankly, it’s kind of amazing when you think about it, because the butterfly has never used any of it’s senses or body parts as a butterfly before even though it has once had a life with different legs, different eyes, different skin, different appetites. It’s never flown before, either. Everything about the butterfly was always a possibility, but upon emergence from the cocoon, all those things are brand new experiences, from the moment it emerges, and everything is as it’s always been, but for the butterfly, it is all different.

If you remember Neo waking up in the pod to discover not only that he was in a pod, but that he was alone, hooked up to machines, unable to use his muscles because he had never actually used them before, and that he was indeed a battery in a power plant, and all the things that Tom Anderson was, all his memories, all of his worries, his status, his fears, all of that stuff created in The Matrix, for The Matrix, was gone. I mean, if you woke up in a pod and were being released from said pod by a machine only to discover that this was the real world, then what of all the things you were concerned with in the illusion? In the first movie, Tom Anderson was just some guy in that version of The Matrix, but in this last movie, it appears that even if you have something you’re desperately clinging to in this world because it’s something you’re supposed to want, to feel secure in, if your soul knows that those things are an illusion and that there is something more, something real, then it’s out there.

And the theme that’s actually running through all four Matrix films isn’t red pill/blue pill at all, and it’s not even illusion: it’s belief. It’s the acceptance of something as true when you don’t have proof that it is true, a very human thing to do. And what are beliefs, astrologically? Are they lunar, Mercurian, Neptunian? Are they Cancerian, Piscean, Sagittarian?

Is it Jupiter, our personal ladder to the stars? It’s ready to head into Pisces, the sign of dreams, and don’t believe all the bullshit telling you that Jupiter in Pisces is going to be awesome. Yes, Jupiter is comfortable there, but comfortable is a relative term: if you’re comfortable with your head up your own ass, you might be inclined to stick it there and leave it there, no? There is always opportunity during a Jupiter transit, and Jupiter entering the sign of spirituality and compassion is going to be great awakening for some people, perhaps many people. It’s also going to expand on this current narcissistic trend of using astrology and magick and divination as an ego booster and ego barrier; Saturn is still in Aquarius, and someone is going to try to establish a new order. As Jupiter and Neptune continue to transit through Pisces, those of us who have been quietly working on this side of normal will likely continue to do so, and likely continue to remain out of the crosshairs. No one can accuse me of writing generic feel-good fluff to boost egos — I mean, I guess they could if they live in some sort of nihilistic dystopia, which is unfortunately, where a lot of people are living these days, and you know…they may stay there. Jupiter may not bring them out. Aquarius is utopia, Pisces is Heaven. Aquarius is dystopia, Pisces is Hell. Utopia and dystopia you share with other people, but you go to Heaven or Hell alone.

Cis- heterosexual men won’t necessarily understand how the rest of us benefit from not only departing from the Abrahamic religions, but the patriarchies they established, the ones that benefit them to our detriment — they don’t want to be freed from their pods. They benefit from the machine.

But with Jupiter at 29 Aquarius, and with so many flights grounded this Christmas Eve, with illness running rampant and continuing to run rampant, a sense of no end to the pandemic, to the rise of fascism, to the rise of the plutocracies with the blessing of the downtrodden who wish to see themselves in the illusion of wealth versus the truth of their own reality, the environment that is growing increasingly hostile to human life due to our own actions, and the condoning and yet denying of racism rampant in my own society, life has become exhausting. This world tells us that there are only certain acceptable solutions to the very problems this world creates, and none of them include the occult in any manner: but if patriarchy is causing the problem, how will patriarchy solve the problem, and why can’t we be suspicious when it tells us that we’re not allowed to think of ourselves outside of the paradigm it deems acceptable?

But I have to ask myself this same question: if I could conform, if I could benefit from being fully immersed, would I still feel this way, or am I programmed to always long for what has been selected for a certain type of person that I am not?

I have to confess: I have had fantasies of taking a Blue Origin trip with Jeff Bezos up into space.

And then locking him out and going back to Earth by myself.

Merry Christmas Eve.

I just rewatched the first three Matrix films these past few days.

Guess I’ll watch #4 again tonight.