Eight Reasons Why You Should Get Over Finding Your Soul Mate

astrology, not astrology, relationship astrology, synastry, transits


The South Node is transiting my ascendant. When this transit occurs, one of the things that happens is that people from your past or whom you already know seek you out, and they can often be of great help, since this transit can be a struggle to move forward and not rely on old habits and ways of being.

You may also meet people from your past whom you haven’t actually met yet.

I think I met another soul mate recently. Wonder and awkward, as these things are. Actually, as a working astrologer, I notice that clients who come to me out of the blue have some sort of karmic connection to me, whether we knew each other in a past life, or were fated to become acquainted in this one. If someone asks me if they will ever meet their soul mate, I refrain from saying that they just did, though I know that this isn’t what they mean.

Well, you could do worse.

So, chances are, if you are here, and if you want astrology services, we are soul mates.

The problem with soul mates, fundamentally, is that they’re still people, and so are you. And you won’t get to fuck every soul mate you have. That is physically impossible — because there is no time, and even still, there are some you simply don’t want to be intimate with like that, like with say, siblings. You may not even want to be around soul mates because finished business should be left finished.

The problem with soul mates, for many, is that we tend to confuse meeting our soul mates with romance, because the feelings are similar enough, and we may be scared to meet soul mates because we don’t want to create a romantic connection. Thus, we think of people we are karmically connected to as romantic partners from the distant past. Many rely on a worn out idea that a soul mate is a dream lover whom we incarnate to find over and over again, fall in love with in a blaze of glory until we die and do the same damned thing again, because we always think that attraction must mean sexual attraction, or that all attraction ultimately express itself or culminate in sexual attraction.

Get over it. Hollywood lied to you.


Astrological Google Searches III

8th house, astrology, astrology lesson, beginner, mars, synastry, Venus


If I were really good at SEO, I would actually make separate blog posts based on the highest incoming searches to the website. After all, this is my hustle, right? Well, the chase-model of SEO doesn’t really work, and sometimes, some things just don’t merit their own post.

But sometimes all you really want is a quick answer, especially if you’re just another gal in a big city trying to make a name for herself, or you simply have a short attention span. Six months ago, I published quick answers to keywords that brought folks to my site. I do that again today. So, without further adieu, quick answers to popular search items that I haven’t already written about:

Venus in 8th House Synastry: This placement means that the Venus person feels a desire to be intimate with the 8th House person. Not necessarily sexual or even romantic, but that they desire to join with the the other person in some sort of intimacy that is bigger than the two of them by themselves. For example, adolescent female best friendships can often seem like a Venus in 8th House thing because of the level of intimacy and entanglement between two people that their individual egos die and they are reborn into a new unit. If you have ever watched My So-Called Life then you know what I mean. It is not uncommon for a person who is changing to seek out different people to hang out with who reflect this change and the dying of the old self. Hence, in a romantic relationship, the Venus person may be changing, and the 8th house person may be representative of this new phase of life. Since the 8th house also rules rebirth, it is possible that there is karma between the persons involved, and that they may have known each other in a previous life or knew each other well in some other incarnation in this one and have come together because now, they seem to be going the same way which may be a departure from where they both were when they first knew each other.

Moon in 8th House Synastry: Here, the expression of the needs and primal fears of the Moon person are transformed by the relationship with the 8th House person. in a way, this is a Beauty and the Beast aspect, because the 8th House person will both fulfill a need for intimacy and trigger a primal fear in the Moon person. The Moon person is more likely to be the one to nurture and grow the relationship. This is because the Moon person has a psychic insight into the 8th House person who may welcome the Moon like someone they have always known, and it may be so because they knew each other in a previous incarnation. Yes: 8th house tends to deal with unfinished business that needs to get done in this life (the 12th house is the stuff you manage to always sweep under the rug or die trying).

Outer planets in partner’s 2nd House: I personally do not put a lot of stock in outer planets in synastry since they are generational planets and are more impersonal. In the year you were born, and roughly in that ballpark, everyone in your peer group would have outer planets in that someone’s 2nd house or whatever house, so the 2nd house person will derive a sense of personal security or personal lack of possessions or security in their material world when it comes to the entire generation. If the partners are in the same generation, nothing special happens in synastry as far as outer planets go, even if appear in the preceding or following house. It just means the group of slighter older or slighter younger people have X effect on them.

BUT: there is an exception. But it’s not that dramatic and I didn’t really have to bold it. The exception in when the partners are of different generations. Age-gap relationships tend to be heavily karmic, and often, the people involved have known each other over the course of many lifetimes and keep coming back to each other, even though the cycles of death and rebirth have made them become born in this lifetime in different years. But even still, this really only affects semi-outer planets like Saturn. What difference it will make for the 2nd house person is that they will react to members of the entire generation of outer planets in the same way, and that will inevitably color the age-gap relationship. So, if your outer planets are in your partner’s second house, but his outer planets are in entirely different places, the partner will either feel financially responsible for the the outer planet person’s generation or derive some sort of pleasure out of what material things that generation represents, like their music.

Natal conjunctions to Saturn get better after 30: Not necessarily. If you came out of your Saturn return better and wiser, you know how to work with the positive aspects of conjunctions to Saturn, namely persevering in whatever the other planet represents, delaying gratification, maintaining focus, and learning to be patient when you don’t get whatever that planet conjuncting Saturn represents right away.

No friends astrology: Ah, now this one is interesting! Do you mean that you have no friends who are astrologers, or that you have no friends and want to know why? Well, I if you have no friends then you definitely have no friends who are astrologers. Perhaps this one merit its own post.

Vertex Synastry: Okay, this one merits its own post, too. But overall, if someone’s planet conjuncts or opposes your vertex, there is a fatedness about the meeting, or it at least feeling like you were destined to meet each other, for better or for worse. They may have something to teach you related to the nature of the planet involved. This is often activated in a long-term relationship, mutually, as in one partner’s planet aspects the other’s vertex in both charts, and it can be any planet, though ideally for romance, Mars and Venus should be activated, and it doesn’t matter the gender of the people involved. However, with that being said, I have noticed that when only one person’s Vertex is aspected by conjunction or opposition in synastry, that person is more in love with or needs the other person more, even if it doesn’t appear that way.

Trines to the Vertex are nice, but I don’t count them as factors bringing people together. They don’t motivate. Squares just irritate. Sextiles aren’t strong enough to reinforce attraction.

Predictive Synastry: All synastry is predictive. It can tell you how two people may potential react to other and interact. Once they get to know each other, it ceases to be predictive.

4th quadrant emphasis: In a nutshell, this person doesn’t need anyone and doesn’t give a fuck because it has important shit to do.  Well, its not really entirely like that, but it is the Eastern Hemisphere that is focused on the self, and it is in the Southern Hemisphere which is focused on things that come to the attention of the world at large. A person with a 4th quadrant emphasis tends to want to make big things, even if they aren’t appreciated (12th house emphasis) and don’t want to rely on anyone else to make it happen. They’re not worried about pleasing people. What pleases people and what they actually need may not be the same thing, and these people understand it. For example, we need waste water management, but no, it doesn’t please people to think about or deal with poo water. These people may be less inclined to get married or to be a supportive partner, though they could use supportive people in their lives.

I’ll add some more soon.






21 Worst Case Scenarios in Your Partner’s Astrological Chart

astrology, astrology lesson, chart synthesis, just for fun, learning astrology, natal astrology, natal chart, neptune, neptune aspects, saturn, special issues in astrology, synastry, Venus, zodiac

Some people are like that.

Sometimes I would get a call in the early morning from friends of mine who have gone out, met a guy, and wanted to know right away if he’s a good catch. Usually, I think that anyone you meet at a bar at 2 a.m. is NOT a good catch, so I was already thinking no… before yawning and asking why. But I get it, and when you have an astrologer friend, and you are seriously looking for that special someone, you want to use whatever you have to cut to the chase and find out if you should give him your number or go home and sleep the cocktails off.

However, this is not really a good way to determine if you are compatible with someone you just met. The best way to do that is simply talk to them.

There is no one awesome chart. Now, I do have some charts of men whom I would never, ever recommend to any woman I know based on their chart alone, but that is a rare thing. Every chart is a culmination of things. They are holistic and interpersonal compatibility and maturity always shows how a certain aspect in one chart will manifest in a relationship.

Now, let me preface this by saying that just because one or two of these appear in the chart doesn’t mean that you should break up with your partner. You may have one or two in your chart. I have a couple of these myself. We all have our hang-ups and issues, and we learn to work on them through our relationships. This is not an exhaustive list, and some of these are worse than others.

But still, here are a list of aspects and planetary placements and the worst manifestations that could mean someone is not a good catch. I have rarely seen these aspects actually manifest into the worst possible scenarios, but just for fun, here they are:


The worst case scenarios:

Mars conjunct, opposite, or square the Sun. Everything is a competition, and to them, everyone is a competitor, even their spouses and children. It is their way or the highway, and they are impatient. It takes a long time for them to cultivate patience. They are aggressive and sometimes seethe with it like a guard dog.  This is especially true if Mars and the Sun are in the cardinal signs or Scorpio. They have a tendency to perceive an attack where there is none, and can be especially protective of their partner when there is no need for it. Better warn Grandpa not to hug you in front of this one. Actually, they would make a much better guard dog than a romantic partner. There is a reason why everyone tells you to put that one on a leash.

Mars conjunct, opposite, or square Moon. Temper, temper! They will wish you away into the cornfield.  These people have difficulty controlling their emotions and taking responsibility for them. They may be emotionally immature and have problems with women, and they especially have problems with strong and confident women. They have difficulty nurturing others and lose their patience with children and those who depend on them. This is the kind of person who flushes their goldfish down the toilet because they hate cleaning the tank and the goldfish is grateful for it.

Astrological Google Searches I

aspects, astrology, beginner, learning astrology, predictive, saturn, synastry

One of the things you’ll notice about my blog is that it is meant to teach serious students of astrology. Right now, I don’t have much that is basic, but when the semester ends, I may put up descriptions of the signs, houses, and planets. But for now…

…here is a collection of things based on google searches to this blog:

1) Aquarians are generally smart. Except when they’re not. Actually, there is no way to tell from a sun sign alone if a person is intelligent. Look to Mercury, the 3rd house, the 6th house, and the 9th house.  Also, see if Mercury makes strong aspects to the moon, Mars, or Uranus.

2) Aquarians can wear lipstick if they want to. What kind of lipstick they should wear has more to do with their rising sign and the placement of Venus.

3) fuck you kim davis indeed.

4) Making friends in law school is something I am still trying to figure out. I’m always slow to make friends, and I find being in the same classes with the same people day in, day out, makes me claustrophobic. For Sagittarians, absence makes the heart grow fonder. One of the things I realized early on is that law school is all about conforming, and to conform, you must compromise and be like the hegemonic group, which is the average. If you’re wondering how to make friends in law school, you are not average. Take solace.

5) Mars in the 8th house in synastry can be very sexy and explosive. If someone has their mars in your 8th house, you really want to fuck this person, be near them, and fight with them. They push your buttons, all of them. However, this type of relationship can also be obsessive if other factors are present, and it may destroy you from within, especially if the Mars person is emotionally volatile. Where is your Mars? If you have a weak Mars, this person may run roughshod on you, or may be the Christian Gray to your Anastasia. Hopefully, your love story is written better.

6) Pluto in the 1st house solar return: when this happened to me, I came into a sense of my own personal power. Actually, in the place I was in, I became a villain of sorts, because I would not conform. A villain like Hester Prynne is a villain, I guess, or her daughter Pearl. I actually had a very fulfilling sexual fling, no strings, for the first time in my life, and it was intense, but it was the first sexual relationship I ever had for the joy of it. I was, however, manipulative and impatient with other people; I found that the street went both ways, and that while I was trying to get into the heads of others, others were trying to manipulate me. I had power struggles at work, but I knew that I was playing the game for a year, while the others were playing for keeps. I also burned some bridges. However, I came out of that year with a sense of my own personal power.

7) love relationship for venus synastry mars people for 2015: If you want to do a predictive chart for a couple, skip the synastry and do a composite chart instead. This is the way to divine what may happen in a relationship for any given year. Synastry charts are two individuals compared, and to tell you the truth, once the relationship is established, they are no longer really necessary.

8) unemployed most of my saturn return AND yes, i actually went mad during the saturn return: me too!

Everything but the Moon, Venus, and Mars and the love houses: Synastry Tips II

astrology, synastry

This is an extension of a previous post, Part I.


Look for the Vertex. The Vertex is a mathematical point that tends to have a fated quality. Where and when you will meet important people will often be shown by the vertex. They tend to be inspirational, in that they help you become the you that you should be. Conversely, they can teach you a hard karmic lesson, but in the end, that is usually what you need. The vertex shows up in the 5, 6, 7, and 8th houses. Think back to the times when you meet the most important people in your life. Is it through romance and play (5th house)? What about work, school, or service (6th house)? How about when you have already made another commitment, or were concentrating on someone else (7th house)? How about if you meet them during times of personal transformation or engaging in business (8th house)? The people we fall in love with are no different.

Now, to clarify the vertex in the 7th house…

…can be found in my ebook, Everything But the Moon, Mars, and Venus: Crucial Astrology for Spot-On Synastry, available at Amazon.com:

Discover the Rest!


Everything but the Moon, Venus, and Mars and the love houses: Synastry Tips I

astrology lesson, beginner, chart synthesis, synastry


If you want to marry, or to pair off for life, but are not sure what you want, do these things before you look at the Moon, Venus, or Mars:

First, look at your sun by sign and house placement. The right person for you will not get in your way. Thus, a person who has their sun in hard aspect to your sun (not including the conjunction) will make it very hard for you to be you and pursue those things that are meaningful to you. Your sun tells what you want in life above all things. Sagittarius wants freedom. Cancer wants security. Aries wants to be number one. Gemini wants activity. Leo wants attention. Scorpio wants intimacy. Aquarius wants to change the world. Taurus wants to take it easy. Virgo wants perfection. Pisces wants to be one with the universe. Capricorn wants to be immortal. Libra wants to share. Where is the sun? The first house just has to be me. The second house likes nice things. The third house wants to talk. The fourth house wants to keep house. The fifth house wants to have fun. The 6th house wants to work. The 7th house wants to agree. The 8th house wants to fuck. The 9th house wants to learn. The 10th house wants to succeed. The 11th house wants to commune. The 12th house wants to dissolve.

Second, look for someone who has planets in the same houses that you do. It doesnt matter as much the sign. Sign and element placement is important, but to emphasize this is to think that the initial meeting is all there is to relationships. This is where synastry goes wrong. When you have a hemispheric and especially a quadrant emphasis, you need someone who can relate to you well. Someone with emphasis in the 8th/9th/and 10th houses but with different signs will get along with someone else with the same quadrant emphasis but different signs. Sure, there may be conflict elsewhere, but someone with a 1st quadrant emphasis isnt going to be able to live with someone with a 3rd quadrant emphasis because their views and actions will be at odds. Someone with a 4th quadrant emphasis is better suited to someone with a 4th, 3rd or 1st quadrant emphasis, in that order, for example. Someone with a 1st quadrant emphasis is better suited to someone with a 1st, 2nd, or 4th quadrant emphasis, in that order.