21 Worst Case Scenarios in Your Partner’s Astrological Chart

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Some people are like that.

Sometimes I would get a call in the early morning from friends of mine who have gone out, met a guy, and wanted to know right away if he’s a good catch. Usually, I think that anyone you meet at a bar at 2 a.m. is NOT a good catch, so I was already thinking no… before yawning and asking why. But I get it, and when you have an astrologer friend, and you are seriously looking for that special someone, you want to use whatever you have to cut to the chase and find out if you should give him your number or go home and sleep the cocktails off.

However, this is not really a good way to determine if you are compatible with someone you just met. The best way to do that is simply talk to them.

There is no one awesome chart. Now, I do have some charts of men whom I would never, ever recommend to any woman I know based on their chart alone, but that is a rare thing. Every chart is a culmination of things. They are holistic and interpersonal compatibility and maturity always shows how a certain aspect in one chart will manifest in a relationship.

Now, let me preface this by saying that just because one or two of these appear in the chart doesn’t mean that you should break up with your partner. You may have one or two in your chart. I have a couple of these myself. We all have our hang-ups and issues, and we learn to work on them through our relationships. This is not an exhaustive list, and some of these are worse than others.

But still, here are a list of aspects and planetary placements and the worst manifestations that could mean someone is not a good catch. I have rarely seen these aspects actually manifest into the worst possible scenarios, but just for fun, here they are:


The worst case scenarios:

Mars conjunct, opposite, or square the Sun. Everything is a competition, and to them, everyone is a competitor, even their spouses and children. It is their way or the highway, and they are impatient. It takes a long time for them to cultivate patience. They are aggressive and sometimes seethe with it like a guard dog.  This is especially true if Mars and the Sun are in the cardinal signs or Scorpio. They have a tendency to perceive an attack where there is none, and can be especially protective of their partner when there is no need for it. Better warn Grandpa not to hug you in front of this one. Actually, they would make a much better guard dog than a romantic partner. There is a reason why everyone tells you to put that one on a leash.

Mars conjunct, opposite, or square Moon. Temper, temper! They will wish you away into the cornfield.  These people have difficulty controlling their emotions and taking responsibility for them. They may be emotionally immature and have problems with women, and they especially have problems with strong and confident women. They have difficulty nurturing others and lose their patience with children and those who depend on them. This is the kind of person who flushes their goldfish down the toilet because they hate cleaning the tank and the goldfish is grateful for it.


Motorboating? No Thanks: Sex and the 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th Houses

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Im not so presumptuous that I think I can write a single blog post encompassing everything about sex and astrology, but I can begin to address it. We tend to to think of sex as mostly belonging to the 5th house of fun and pleasure and the 8th house of life, sex, death, and regeneration, and also the 7th house, the house of partnerships.

However, sex, like all things vital to the human experience, is encompassed in every house. We use our looks (1st house) to attract partners. We use our personal assets (2nd house) to get them to pay attention to us. We use our speech (3rd house) to make a connection. We want them to be comfortable with us on a basic level (4th house), and we want to have fun (5th house). We want to use our bodies (6th house) to have a partnership (7th house) that makes an intimate connection (8th house) that transcends and creates experiences (9th house). We want our sexual connections to reflect who we are in the world (10th house) and social values and connections (11th house) and ultimately, help us deal with the parts of us we keep hidden (12th house). There is no one sex house, though there is one house that does have a primary focus on it.

A couple months ago, we were in torts and we were discussing at what ages youths can be held to assume adult responsibility, and for what activities. One of them was motorboating. At first, I didnt realize why everyone else was giggling, and then…oh yeah. Hee hee. Well, the instructor asked one young man at what age motorboating would be appropriate, and he turned beet red. It was then that I started laughing, as he stuttered his way through the answer. Later, in the elevator, some of my young classmates were incredulous that our instructor didnt know what motorboating meant in youthful parlance. I know what it means. However, I didnt see it as unusual that our instructor didnt know, seeing as how no one actually wants to be motorboated, and most people dont know of fleeting sexual jokes that serve no purpose in the bedroom.

One of the things I have learned is that the less euphemisms people know for sexual behavior, the more sex they actually have. Theres just no need to continue to make taboo what is now quite natural to you.