Okay, so I said I wasn’t going to blog about it anymore, but I am, because today I took the day off and took a little day trip to clear my head just in case anything triggered me, and you know what? It didn’t. And now I would like the world to think of me … Continue reading Six Months Later
loss
One Month Plus In
I’m tired of mourning. This is work, and the more work I do, the more work I discover has to be done. I had to go back to work full time because I can’t afford to stay on bereavement even though I could really use the time to sort his affairs. But that is loss … Continue reading One Month Plus In
Grief; Transits in Quarantine
The silver lining to this is that I am pretty good at being alone anyway. I actually don’t mind sheltering in place since I can leave when I want to. Quarantine was awful. Not having a choice as to whether I stay in the apartment or not. Rick’s death. The process of announcing and dealing … Continue reading Grief; Transits in Quarantine
Grieving, Post-Quarantine
Numb is a good word. It’s been two and a half weeks since Ricky died, and I am embarking on the long business of wrapping up his life, wrapping up our life. If were able, I would take this slowly, but as it is, my lease ends on June 30, and there’s a lot of … Continue reading Grieving, Post-Quarantine
Grieving in Quarantine: Day 10
I am not crying all the time. I am not cycling through my emotions so rapidly. I am not as dysfunctional as I was a few days ago, but I am aware that I have anxiety over strange things. I know I don’t have to be vigilant all the time, so I’m making myself not … Continue reading Grieving in Quarantine: Day 10
Grieving in Quarantine: Day 7
So he’s not coming back. I understand this intellectually, as this is the longest we have ever been apart, and I have spent seven days in my apartment without seeing him, without hearing him, without sending him a text message from the bathroom and him getting annoyed about it. I am not asking him what … Continue reading Grieving in Quarantine: Day 7
Grieving in Quarantine: Day 4
This is Cohosh Man. It’s not a man, and it’s not made of cohosh. It’s a sculpture of sorts Ricky made with foam crack filler. The coffee and inhaler make it a still-life. In time, he would become increasingly more dependent on those inhalers. He gave this to me the day that I was flying … Continue reading Grieving in Quarantine: Day 4
Fugitive Umbrellas 
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